Emotional blackmail susan forward
A great topic!
Emotional blackmail is a form of manipulation where one person uses guilt, anger, self-pity, or other emotional tactics to control or influence another person's behavior. This behavior is often used to get what the manipulator wants, rather than to genuinely communicate or resolve issues.
Susan Forward, a renowned therapist and author, has written extensively on the topic of emotional blackmail. In her book "Toxic Parents: Overcoming Their Power and Protecting Your Adult Life," Forward defines emotional blackmail as:
"...a form of psychological manipulation in which a person uses guilt, anger, self-pity, or other emotional tactics to control or influence another person's behavior. Emotional blackmailers use their power to make the other person feel guilty, anxious, or responsible for their own happiness or well-being."
Forward identifies several common tactics used by emotional blackmailers, including:
- Guilt-tripping: Making the other person feel guilty for not doing what the manipulator wants.
- Anger: Using anger to intimidate or control the other person.
- Self-pity: Playing the victim to elicit sympathy and get what they want.
- Love-withdrawal: Threatening to withdraw love or affection if the other person doesn't comply.
- Blame-shifting: Shifting the blame for their own problems or mistakes onto the other person.
Forward emphasizes that emotional blackmail is often a learned behavior, passed down from one generation to the next. She also notes that emotional blackmailers often have difficulty forming healthy, equal relationships because they are used to getting their way through manipulation rather than genuine communication and compromise.
To overcome emotional blackmail, Forward recommends the following strategies:
- Set boundaries: Clearly communicate your limits and expectations to the emotional blackmailer.
- Don't take the bait: Avoid getting drawn into arguments or emotional manipulation.
- Practice assertive communication: Express your needs and feelings in a clear and respectful manner.
- Seek support: Surround yourself with people who support and respect you.
- Develop self-awareness: Recognize your own emotional triggers and work on managing your emotions in a healthy way.
By understanding the tactics of emotional blackmail and developing strategies to overcome them, you can break free from the cycle of manipulation and build healthier, more fulfilling relationships.