Emotional blackmail by susan forward

A classic!

"Emotional Blackmail: When You Feel Manipulated, Controlled, and Taken Advantage Of--And How to Break Free" is a book written by Susan Forward, a renowned therapist and expert on emotional manipulation. Published in 1997, the book has been widely acclaimed for its insightful and practical guidance on recognizing and overcoming emotional blackmail.

In the book, Forward defines emotional blackmail as a form of manipulation where one person uses guilt, anger, self-pity, or other emotional tactics to control and influence another person's behavior. This can happen in personal relationships, such as romantic partnerships, family dynamics, or friendships, as well as in professional settings.

Forward identifies several common tactics used in emotional blackmail, including:

  1. Guilt: Using feelings of guilt to control the other person's behavior.
  2. Anger: Using anger to intimidate or punish the other person.
  3. Self-pity: Playing the victim to elicit sympathy and control.
  4. Love: Using false or exaggerated expressions of love to manipulate.
  5. Fear: Using fear to control the other person's behavior.
  6. Blame: Shifting responsibility to the other person and blaming them for problems.

Forward also provides strategies for recognizing and overcoming emotional blackmail, including:

  1. Setting boundaries: Establishing clear limits and communicating them assertively.
  2. Asserting yourself: Expressing your needs and feelings in a clear and respectful manner.
  3. Avoiding emotional reactivity: Not reacting impulsively to emotional blackmail tactics.
  4. Seeking support: Building a support network of people who can provide emotional validation and support.
  5. Practicing self-care: Taking care of your physical, emotional, and spiritual well-being.

The book has been praised for its accessible and engaging writing style, making it an excellent resource for anyone seeking to understand and overcome emotional blackmail in their personal or professional life.

Overall, "Emotional Blackmail" is a valuable resource for anyone looking to build healthier, more authentic relationships and develop greater emotional resilience.